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Out of luck. Out of time. Out of hopelessness and sleepless nights. [entries|friends|calendar]
A Bottle Of Xanax

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Bored. [07 Mar 2007|01:12am]
[ mood | bored ]

Things that make me happy:

Getting 5 stars on every song in Guitar Hero II on hard
You not being happy, still. :)

Thank you for wasting months of my life. I know it pains you to hear this, but it still doesn't bring me down.

Comments: Press This..

What's wrong with me I can't sleep. [01 Mar 2007|10:19pm]
[ mood | calm ]

I stay the "maybe" that waits on you
And now I'm pathetic for letting go
Just think of this as a lesson learned
To never take take advantage of the people that depend on you.

Comments: Press This..

Mucky Muck castle made of clouds. [09 Nov 2006|06:20pm]
I should bicycle kick your face.
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Uhhhhh.... [31 Oct 2006|12:12pm]
[ mood | sad ]

Yeah uh... you didn't even give me a chance.

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[26 Sep 2006|09:19pm]
When you said you loved me, did you really love me or did the words just spill out like drool on my pillow. ‘Cause I was naked when you said those words, but I felt covered in your whispered worship. And as you passed out fast on my shoulder, I imagined a child waiting so sad and still for his mom to arrive. Did she leave you an orphan, in that big, brown leather chair? Said, “ Don’t you move a muscle, kid, I’ll be back in twenty years,” You were scared, you were lonely, but you must’ve been aware; life is a series of calluses, this is just another layer. So, build’em up, tough it out, yeah, that’s your skin – don’t let anyone under there.

When you said you needed me, did you really need me or was it just someone – oh, you’d take anything. Am I first on that list of yours, or am I second, or third? So, who’s that ahead of me, some harlot from Pittsburgh? Or Detroit, Santa Fe, or San Diego? I know you’re so alone, but how much affection does one guy really need?

Did you date a lot in high school? Were you always chasing girls? Couldn’t you find some young valentine to steal your heart for good? Were you content, or contemptible? Are your memories pleasant, or is it a string of endless flings of bitter resentment. Seems that what you want and what you need doesn’t mean a thing, we’re just here for the taking.

When you said you’d hurt me, did you think you hurt me? Are you really that cocky? Oh, what a heartbreaker! Well, I’ve got my armor – yeah, I’ve been through some battles before – and I met your old girlfriend, she said, “Baby, don’t bother.” She told me you told her you’d hurt her….funny, how familiar. So, how much of this relationship was rehearsed?

Did you act out as a child? Were you always crying wolf? Attention-starved, you tried too hard to get someone to look. Now you’re the wolf in second-hand clothing; I’m the sheep in a pleated skirt. It’s an awkward form of payback, but if it works for you – it works. It’s that I recognize your off-white lies, still, I lie beside you – and that’s what really hurts.

When you said you’d leave me…well, why haven’t you left me? What are we still doing here, so desperate for company? There’s a greyhound on Jackson Street, there’s an airport in Council Bluffs…hell, there’s a car in the driveway – fifty ways to get lost.

But as I hold you and listen to you sleeping, I’m starting to wonder if you really believe that you’d ever really leave. Would you leave me, and orphan, in that big, brown leather chair? The one you’ve lugged around from town to town for all these years. It’s the trophy of your childhood, like a shark’s tooth or gator skin boots – but this one holds you prisoner – it holds me prisoner too. What we need to set us free is to let go of each other – let go of everything.

When I said I loved you, it was because I loved you. When I said I needed you, well, I really need you. Yeah, I guess you hurt me, for once you’re a man of your words. Well, guess what – I’m leaving – I can’t be your prisoner.

I won’t.
Comments: 1 comment|Press This..

I apologise in advanced but... [06 Sep 2006|10:14pm]
[ mood | chipper ]

You are a bag of douche my dear.

I miss some of you. 2005 was a good year. etc. etc.

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Welllll [27 Jun 2006|12:03am]
Looks like she ditched me again. It's getting too routine. I miss her a lot... and she doesn't seem to care.
Comments: 2 comments|Press This..

[08 Jun 2006|03:57pm]
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I never thought i'd be saying this: [28 May 2006|02:30am]
[ mood | calm ]

I love driving. I miss my car working. Fucking Cougar isn't broken every day. son of a bitch! :(

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Hi [21 May 2006|11:51pm]
[ mood | lonely ]

Ryan dislikes being alone.

Sunday's are depressing.

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Comfort hasn't failed to follow so far. [15 May 2006|07:00pm]
[ mood | awake ]

My birthday is in less than a month....

I'm not happy. In fact i'm kind of down most of the time.

Thank you for your pity.

Comments: 1 comment|Press This..

Delilah, I've never met a more impossible girl. [30 Apr 2006|04:02pm]
[ mood | good ]

Things have been good these past few days. I got recognised off Myspace at Taco Bell. How embarassing.

And you said "Amanda, i'm in love"
No you're not.
You're just a sucker for the ones who use you
And it doesn't matter what I say or do

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Backstabber! [28 Apr 2006|04:00am]
[ mood | awake ]

backstabber backstabber backstabber backstabber backstabber backstabber backstabber backstabber

backstabber! hope grabber!
greedy little fit haver!
god, I feel for you, fool…..
shit lover! off brusher!
jaded bitter joy crusher!
failure has made you so cruel….

rotten to the core
rotten to the core

rotten like a crackwhore

Doesn't it seem so odd how many there have been before me, and there will be in the future. Hypocrisy at it's finest. Don't insult my choices in people when you have no business when you set yourself up for defeat time and time again. You're a fool.

Comments: 2 comments|Press This..

[26 Apr 2006|06:17pm]
[ mood | depressed ]

Where have you been?
What have you done!?

Dialogue is the foundation of human interaction. When you don't participate you don't want to interact. This is disinterest. When you have disinterest in a person and it's obvious, intentions become known. Intentions, once known, make things clear. Once things are clear.... you find yourself back at square one.

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Sunday Morning [23 Apr 2006|03:25pm]
[ mood | blah ]

Ever think just maybe (MAYBE) all of your problems are you own fault?

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Golly Sandra! [20 Apr 2006|10:47pm]
[ mood | confused ]

What do I have to do to get some kind of reaction (any kind?)?

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You're no one. You're someone's bastard son. This is my goodbye. Kiss it all bye. Goodbye. [12 Apr 2006|12:56am]
[ mood | accomplished ]

I've spent lifetimes waiting.
let thousands go to wherever's needed
Heard the secrets told, and she takes it so well,
and she drinks it with no sugar or tears, and the door is closed.
My throat is bleeding and all these wants have burned,
and I have only turned only fell right through.
And she takes it so well, like this never was.
Like never problems, never solutions.

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Sometimes it feels like I rip my heart and soul in two. [01 Apr 2006|06:22am]
[ mood | Buzzed? ]

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Lgn to Gvmt Cntr [31 Mar 2006|04:34pm]
You're what made Michigan so great.
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I <3 Outkast. [24 Mar 2006|06:31am]
[ mood | awake ]

When arrows don't penetrate, cupid grabs the pistol.

(I could be an organ donor at the rate I give up my heart)
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